Every morning on my way to work, just before I get to the Batu Tiga toll (I stay in Shah Alam for those who dont know, and work in Mont Kiara), I’d be playing this guessing game – will traffic be bitchy this morning or will traffic be bearable? (note the use of the word bearable instead of “good” – its cos there is no such thing as good traffic on the Federal Highway).

Plus I’m always left in a limbo – option 1: leave for work early and i get stuck in the morning rush hour – work folks and work folks sending kids to school..option 2: leave home slightly later and miss the rush hour, traffic is not as bad, but arrive at work slightly late. I have, on most days opted for option 2. being stuck in traffic can drive me berserk, not a way to start my day wont you agree?

Anyway, I take the Federal Highway – Kerinchi Link route to work, choosing the route cos on a not-so-bad day which I must admit happens on most days – traffic although heavy, moves at an acceptable pace (option 2 above). But the thing i despise about the Notorious Fed (I now name the Federal Highway, Notorious Fed hehe) is that it is soooo unpredictable. The road can get jammed up that it strecthes all the way from Batu Tiga toll to the bus stop along the highway opposite the Guiness factory. Ah before i forget, I beg that someone looks into the issue of this mysterious bus stop. For the love of God, I have absolutely no clue whatsoever as to why, the traffic will move slower than a snail at the brink of death just before the bus stop, but after we pass the bus stop..traffic clears and we’re moving at normal speed..seriously, what is up with that effing bus stop?? or that part of the highway?? its just a bus stop. how can that cause a jam?

Isn’t it enough that the slightest thing can already cause a jam, like:

  • a policeman standing by the highway, doing nothing, but standing by his bike. really, all he’s doing is standing,i cant repeat that enough, and he’s causing a jam. Not like he has drool-inducing looks. I swear i have seen this happen on the Notorious Fed one too many times. why?
  • hujan renyai causes traffic congestion too! i can understand if its heavy rain, and cars are going much slower than usual cos of the slippery road condition, but hujan renyai? are people driving slower to admire the rain drops?? am i missing something here?
  • accidents. this factor needs no explanation. am sure you’ve heard or even said this anytime you’re stuck in an unexpected jam “Sure ada accident ni”..right? ;p i think its the kepochi-ness in people.just need to look, then look a bit more before driving off. First to see how bad was the accident, then want to be pandai and see who was at fault- so peek to see the extent of damage, then if there’s an ambulance, ha here’s where the kepochi-ness gets turned up a notch, and traffic gets worst -you’ll see drivers stretch their necks out to look for bodies or anyone injured. for what? you want to go and help make the police report isit? or you’re gonna park your car and offer some medical help? if no, then move along! 

So as you can see, I am quite disgruntled by the Notorious Fed, and the traffic condition in Malaysia in general. I know i should count myself lucky that i’m not driving in Calcutta, but still, I dont have to be jumping with joy either. 

Tomorrow will be another day, another guessing game. The only thing that keeps me going are good tracks to listen to otw, and breakfast with my lovely colleagues. Ah could I get a pair of wings so that I could fly please?

p/s: my good friend Fitch even suggested setting up a Commission consisting of traffic analysts to solve our traffic woes…see it’s that bad.